Janelle Brown spent her first Thanksgiving without her son Garrison.
But he was never far from her mind.
As sister Wives Fans sadly know at this point that Garrison took his own life last March at the young age of 25, after his brother Gabe found him in his Arizona home.
Authorities then confirmed that Garrison died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Fast forward to November 29 and Jenelle made it clear via Instagram how much she was thinking about Garrison amid the family-oriented occasion.
“First of the ‘big’ holidays without you,” the 55-year-old wrote alongside a childhood photo of her son.
“We all gathered together in NC to celebrate and kept your photo nearby. We laughed at your silly humor and told lots of stories while respecting you.
“We ate food, played games and enjoyed each other’s company. Everyone is returning home now and normal life will resume from tomorrow. But I feel you close to me.
We really can’t imagine the pain that Jenelle must have experienced on Thanksgiving — or the pain that she actually experiences every day.
Since Garrison’s passing, Janelle has been spending a lot of time in North Carolina with daughter Madison Brush, son-in-law Caleb Brush and their children.
The mother of six also bought a piece of land on the east coast for $289,000, where she is building Teda Farms with her loved ones.
Late last month, Brown also announced a fun new business venture.
talking to People Magazine in September, Jenelle detailed the terrible day she found out Garrison was gone… as well as everything she’d been through leading up to that terrible moment.
“We had no idea he was in that place at all,” Janelle tells People. He also said that “substance abuse” likely played a role in his mental state before his death. “But he never expressed any kind of overly sad sentiment.”
According to the official autopsy report, Garrison had a very high blood alcohol level when he committed suicide.
His roommates also told local police that he was drinking heavily at this time.
In a text message the night before he died, Garrison admitted to having suicidal tendencies… leading to Janelle asking son Gabe to check on his brother.
Gabe did the same, and came across her body.
“We were actually chatting. He had all the resources he could need,” the Sister Wives star said of her son’s mental state this fall. “It was such a shock. We never expected this.”
In the end, Brown is clearly disappointed.
Yet she doesn’t know what she could have done to avoid this tragedy.
“It wasn’t just for lack of love or lack of anything,” she previously said.
“And I can just think… we always ask ourselves if we could have done something else, but I don’t know,” she adds. “I think it’s a sad trap because I think, ultimately, everyone is responsible for their actions and their decisions. But we did everything.”