Allison Holker has had to endure a lot since her husband’s death.
In December of 2022, we reported the tragic passing of Stephen “tWitch” Boss.
After his heartbreaking death by suicide, his loved ones discovered the personal pain he had kept to himself.
His widow explains that part of it was to expose the addiction he had hidden all his life.
Alison Holker is speaking out (and has written a book) about the tragic death of her late husband.
In life, Stephen was the co-executive producer of “Twitch” Boss. the ellen degeneres show And was also a DJ for a long time.
talking to People In a new interview, widow Alison Holker recalls finding a “cornucopia” of drugs hidden inside shoe boxes in her late husband’s closet.
She found mushrooms, pills and “other substances that I had to look up on my phone.”
Holkar recalled, “I was with a very dear friend of mine and we were cleaning out the closet and choosing outfits for her funeral.” That’s when he made this discovery.
“It was a really inspiring moment for me,” he said, “because there were a lot of things in our closet that I didn’t know existed.”
Holkar admitted: “It was very worrying for me to learn that there was so much going on that I knew nothing about [about],
It took time for Alison Holker to understand why her late husband hid so much
“Finding out this was a very scary moment in my life,” said Alison Holker.
“But it also helped me understand that he was going through a lot and he was hiding a lot,” she argued. “And there must have been a lot of shame in that.”
Holkar spent nine years married to Boss. During that time, he believed they had “very honest” communication about marijuana. Her late husband would go to the guest house to “recharge”, to which she commented: “And that was fine.”
Alison Holker wisely describes, “He was struggling with a lot inside himself, and he was trying to self-heal and deal with all those emotions.” She argued, “Because he didn’t want to impose it on anyone because he loved everyone so much.”
Another discovery after his death were journal entries that mentioned sexual abuse during his childhood.
Talking about her husband’s mental condition, Holkar said: “He didn’t want other people to suffer his pain.”
At first this secret felt like a betrayal
Alison Holker explains, “Reading Stephen’s journals really gave me a better perspective on where he was in life and what kinds of things he was struggling with.” “It made me feel very sympathetic towards her and sad for the pain she was going through.”
Many people would rather keep their deceased loved one’s secrets, from journal entries to drug stashes, hidden than give interviews and write a book about it. ,This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light Comes in February.)
However, Holkar is sharing Boss’s struggles and her family’s grief. The reason is that they hope that other people will also be able to learn from it. If sharing the boss’s tragedy saves even one person who is going through a similar struggle, it will have been worth it.