Jennifer Lopez isn’t here to feel sorry for herself.
And she doesn’t want you to do that either.
More than a month after filing for divorce from Ben Affleck, the artist opened up for the first time about this public split in a profile for Interview magazine.
Lopez told comedian Nikki Glaser, “If you want something that’s more perfect, you have to be perfect.”
“You have to be good to yourself. I thought I learned it, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, ‘I need to go out and be alone. I want to prove to myself that I can do this.”
Lopez never mentioned Affleck by name in the meeting.
But she makes some explicit references to the divorce, focusing on her self-healing and self-confidence.
“I think my whole life I’ve just been trying to say I’m good enough until I find out where I am now. I’m giving myself credit,” the singer added.
“I’m telling that little girl who grew up in the Bronx, ‘You’ve done really well for yourself.’ I didn’t do this for so many years.
“And now I think, with everything that’s happened in my life and in my relationships and even in my career, it’s just kind of giving myself a little rest and love.
“We’ve been through a lot of things that no one knows about, and you’ve persevered and you’ve refused to give up and let it get to you.”
In fact, Lopez has now been divorced three times.
However, it appears that she and Affleck have a good relationship.
“There’s something to be said for that because things can really change your life in such a way that you want to give up and say, ‘This is too hard, I don’t want to do this anymore,'” Lopez stepped forward. “But I am not there. I refuse to give myself everything that little girl deserves.”
Amen, J Lo!
Before this interview, Lopez had rarely talked about her most recent break-up, only sharing the occasional social media post.
Lopez said that being a mother to 16-year-old twins Max and Emme – whom she shares with her ex-husband Marc Anthony – and recent projects like the film Unstoppable have helped her overcome personal heartbreak.
“With This Is Me… now and that project you mentioned earlier, I felt like, wow, I’ve arrived here. I’m fine,” she said. “I did all the work and saw where I was, and then it felt like my whole fucking world came crashing down.”
Lopez filed for divorce from Affleck on August 20, after two years of marriage. He gave the date of the couple’s separation as April 26 and cited irreconcilable differences as grounds for divorce.
“Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t find happiness in other people. I have to keep happiness within myself,” added Lopez, who says she has no regrets about marrying Affleck.
The superstar is not looking for a new partner right now – and concluded with this message:
“I know that everything that is being written and said about me, and all the projections about who I am as a person, are not who I am. I learned this a long time ago.
I know I am a good person. I know I am a good mother. I know who my friends are. I know my friends know who I am, my mother, my father, all these things.